Shame On You Poo Bear
#1 Reason For getting shot at hunt camp.
- Drunkenness and Shame.
- More hunters are shot every year from just plain out drunkenness and more importantly -“Shame” than any other cause– It is the leading cause of hunt camp accidents .
- Shame is not the shot but the excuse .
- If you just got back from drunk camp with a bullet wound would you openly and willingly tell the truth so” Help you God”
- Was Shame the shot or the excuse made to suit the F” up .
- Tell me ‘ You;ve been drunk 24 / 7 at drunk camp for days and you haven’t seen any deer since you got there , {Probably because you stink }
- You go out to your stand lit like a roman candle and seeing at least double if not triple and you finally get up to top of stand an hour late even though it’s only 12 feet high but it’s only because you left your water bottle at bottom of stand and have to have water to quench your hangover so you go buck down{You Wish} and then you climb buck up { Disregarding the extreme residual hangover}
- You go back down cursing and grunting and by now coughing up big green luggers of a Flem like substance similar to green slime, You then huff and puff your fat ass back up them stairway to heaven praising God for giving you an opportunity to killing an imaginary deer today Yee Haa!
Are You Sure About This , But You Said Yesterday?
- You finally get your fat arse up that incredible whole amazing 12 feet of deer stand just in time because the suns only been up for 3 hours now and the mosquitoes are biting your big fat arse mercilessly and your already to give up and go back to drunk camp because your “dun tuckered out” as you put it
- But your so tired you decide to lean back just a minute and rest because your heads spinning and you don’t know why .
- You lean back a bit ,but decide to draw an arrow for that imaginary deer that keeps you up drinking all night like the headless huntsman of hunter lore .
- It’s getting later in the day and the sun starts to burn off a heavy dew that settled in the night while you were at your drunken best .The problem now is ,it’s burned into a heavy fog and it’s perfect stealth time- { Early Mid Day – Grounds soft and quiet -Barely a breeze to give away your scent -AKA-{ Overwhelming stench covered in over applied succulence called Cologne , Most typical being hunter vintage type called – OLD SPICE – Commonly referred to as Old Lice-This horrid chemical concoction can be smelled in it’s livid proportions upwards of 5 miles range so is considered as animals best friend as Bambi has at least a 2 day notice as to when hunting season begins.{ Read More” – More deer are killed every year from smelling old spice than from gun shot wounds .
- You’ve now decided in your infinite wisdom and in safety’s sake that you should just get down and go back to drunk camp to sleep it off ,
- But you forgot a few things – Your fat – Your Hungover_ and your big fat arse does not fit so well down through the opening of the deer stand onto the deer stand steps.
- Then “IT” Happens – Your big fat a falls and as you fall an arrow jabs through your lower abdomen and juts out through your back .
- Your the only one out there and are you really going to tell the “Truth” “The Whole Truth” and nothing but the truth so help you God .
- Unlikely – Shame interrupts instantly like a horned little devil on your shoulder and says – “No Fat Boy”- you need to lie your way out of this or they’ll never stop laughing at you .
- Then You remember and reach deep in your brand new pocket coat pocket and pull out your emergency survival pamphlet { How To Succeed At Hunting By Being The Better Liar}
- You quickly thumb through the pages and find chapter { What To Say If You accidentally shoot yourself}
- So you start thinking real quick like, which means something but were not sure and not impressed by your mental prowess in times of digress concerning your own survival .
- Your hanging upside down wailing like a stuffed pig because you are just such and then you get a big fat brain fart.
- Brain Fart #1
- The step broke and it wasn’t your fault.”Ingenious” you phantom , A quick pat on the back you deduce and then suddenly it takes hold the- ‘Pain” immeasurable withering pain, but no matter as you have withered your way out of a much worse pain- The” Pain Of Shame ” .
- You go crawling back to main camp road screeching like a hoot owl as each time you move a little further you move the arrow also, but you now know from reading my post {How To Teach Your Kids Archery } that you need to leave the arrow in to help stop the bleeding .
